There are some letters that we can never write.
No matter how expressive and good it may sound, no matter how persuasive our letters may be, it just isn’t right. You may ask why, but for me, what is the sense of writing a letter filled with all the emotions and feelings that you want to express if everybody can read it except that very important person whom your letter was addressed?
It’s just like bottling your emotions and placing it on a museum where everybody can gaze at it. But unfortunately, he’s blind and apparently, he won’t be able to see it.
But I don’t want him to know.
We write poems, stories, and novels about someone dear to us. Some write to reveal their identity and emotions. Some wants to blend in and conceal their feelings and identity from everyone specially the person they love. As for me, I’ m doing it to reveal my emotions and conceal my identity.
He occupies my mind.
My heart is crying for the feelings that I’m trying so hard to fight. I don’t want the feeling. But it feels so damn good. I know it’s hopeless but hoping allows me to go through the day and sleep throughout the night.
He brightens my day.
Communication. It’s the first thing we really learn in life. The funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need. There are some things that we really can’t say. Sometimes, even though we practiced everything we wanted to say, when we’re tossed into the arena, everything just goes out of our heads. When a person is near, everything else’s disappears, and maybe you even end up listening and staring at this person. Our friends say it’s crazy but it makes us blissful and contented.
He teaches me a lot of things.
There are people who can really make you smile without making an effort. There are also those who teach you a lot of things without even planning to do so. They make us enjoy life and make the most of it. They make us see and appreciate the little things in life and be thankful for it. They make us better individuals, without even making an effort to impart us with lessons.
He will never be mine.
Just like the sun, it’s so hard to get close to and when you eventually touch it, you just end up burning yourself. Just like the sunshine, when the day ends and the sun sets in, the sun takes away the sunshine, the only thing that makes you happy. Maybe after waiting for another day, it’ll come back again. Maybe it won’t. But you shouldn’t expect because you know there will come a time where it will rain hard and your sunshine will not return and you just need to let go.
This is what I feel. But this isn’t my love letter. I can’t write it. Because he won’t read it.
…and when you are finally free from this illusion, you are free from pain but your hands are empty.
"there is a certain desperate loneliness of two parallel lines that will never meet within the same plane…" -anonymous
